Yes, I cry

I’m a crier.

Always have been.

Big moments, small ones ... doesn’t really matter. Saying goodbye before someone leaves for a trip? Tears. Seeing someone again after a while? Tears. A soft moment with my kids? Immediate tears.

I wear my heart on my sleeve, and everyone knows it.

For a long time, I was embarrassed about it. I’d think,

Why am I like this? What kind of emotional wreck cries this easily? 

I’d try to hold it in.

Hide it.

Apologize for it.

But somewhere along the way, I stopped fighting it. Because crying doesn’t make you weak. It just means you feel things. And I do. I feel a lot.

Earlier this week, I read The Last Letter. Amazing book. Beautifully written. Completely devastating. I finished it in two days and cried through about a fifth of it. Real tears. The kind that just keep coming. It didn’t help that the kids in the story are the same age as mine. It hit hard.

When I was a teenager, people used to ask, “Why are you crying at a book?” Or a movie. Or a sitcom.

But when my husband and I talked about it, he said something that stuck with me:

"I love how deeply you immerse yourself. You really live inside those stories. You feel everything."

And I do.

I have a big imagination.

I connect.

I relate.

I get pulled in.

I feel what the characters feel.

I carry it with me.

That used to feel like a problem. Now it feels like a strength. Because being moved by a story means I’m capable of empathy. Crying when something touches me means I care. It means I’m present. Alive.

And yes, my kids are going to hit that age where it becomes very embarrassing.

“Mom, seriously. Can you not cry right now?”

And I’ll probably smile through it and say, “Nope. Sorry. That’s just who I am.”

Because what they’ll have is a mom who feels deeply.

Who cares.

Who loves them profoundly.

Who will cry at their graduation, and also at their school play.

I hope one day, when they’re grown, they’ll get it. That when they say goodbye to someone they love, or when something hits just right ... they’ll let themselves feel it too.