Managing it all

This morning I sat in a school parking lot and cried.

I’d just dropped off my kids. The night before had been rough: wake-ups, tired bodies, a brain that never really shut off. My husband’s been away for four days on a business trip. And I was running on empty.

I’m a mother of two. I work full-time. And my kids ... they’re wonderful, they really are ... but they’re still kids. Which means they need attention, energy, patience, all the time.

This morning I was dragging, just trying to get through the routine. I dropped the kids at school and then suddenly remembered: it was sports day for my eldest. And I hadn’t prepared his backpack.

So I drove home, grabbed what he needed, rushed it to school, and switched out his bag. From the outside, everything looked fine.

And then I sat in the car, closed the door, and broke down.

Because sometimes it’s just too much.

Two kids.

Full-time job.

Sleepless nights.

The invisible list running in my head of everything that has to be done, remembered, fixed, packed, washed, signed.

I’m tired.

Exhausted.

It feels like I don’t get even five minutes to breathe.

I’m barely keeping up.

And there I was, crying in a car, just to let some of the tension slip out.

Later I started wondering: how many other parents do the same? How many of us are juggling all of it, carrying all of it, holding it together just enough so that everyone else can have a good day? Surely others have felt that weight too. I can’t imagine I’m the only one.

And then I thought about how it used to be. One parent working, one parent staying home. I’m not romanticizing it. I’m sure there was plenty of pressure then, too. The expectation of home cooking, spotless houses, raising children “the right way.” A different standard to meet.

And I keep coming back to the same question: do we cut each other enough slack?

When we see another parent who’s struggling, do we recognize it,

and think,

she must be having a hard day, that’s okay?

Or do we judge, whisper, roll our eyes?

I hope it’s the first.

I hope we live in a world where, when you see a parent running late, or forgetting the sports bag, or just looking worn down, you give them a soft smile.

A smile that says:

I see you. It's okay.