Becoming the Core You

I heard a quote recently:

“You become a responsible parent when you become a disobedient daughter.”

It stuck with me. Not because I fully agreed, but because there’s something in it. I don’t think it’s about parenting, actually. I think it’s about becoming your own person. Becoming an adult. Becoming you.

And maybe it’s not even about disobedience, not in the rebellious sense.

It’s about alignment. About reaching that moment when something clicks, when you see clearly where you’re headed, and you think:

This is who I am. This is what I want. This is what I believe.

And then, even when people question you: “Are you sure? Should you really?”. You feel the resistance, but you also feel the calm beneath it.

You understand that their questions come from love, from fear, from care. And still, you say:

I hear you. I respect that. But I’m doing this anyway.

Because becoming who you are means learning to listen. Not just to people, or systems, or experts ... but to yourself.

And that’s not easy.

We’re overwhelmed with advice.

Experts. Influencers. Thought leaders. Parents. Friends. Algorithms.

And most of it, even when it comes from good intentions, is just noise unless you know how to filter it.

Unless you pause and ask:

Does this align with who I am? Does it make sense for me?

That’s what critical thinking looks like.

It’s not being contrarian for the sake of it. It’s processing, not just accepting.

It’s taking the input, sitting with it, and deciding what to carry forward.

And as someone who’s both a people pleaser and a perfectionist, I’ll be honest. That’s a challenge.

I want to do it right. I want to be seen as kind, thoughtful, responsible.

But sometimes, being kind includes being kind to yourself, too.

And sometimes, being responsible means not obeying ... but choosing.

And when you do that, at first, you might get defensive.

You’ll want people to understand you.

You might cry or argue: “Why can’t you just support me?”

But over time, you start to see it differently.

You see that most objections are rooted in love.

That fear is a language people use when they want to keep you safe.

And you learn to respond not with anger, but with awareness.

You take the feedback. You consider it. And if needed, you make adjustments.

But in the end, you make your decision.

And sometimes, you’ll be wrong.

That’s okay.

At least you chose.

At least you tried.

And maybe you were right.

Maybe your way was the right way ... for you.

But you’ll never know unless you let yourself walk it.